Sunday blues

I promised my friend that I would attend a ballet class tomorrow so I decided to do some turns in my bedroom. It didn't turn out so well because I hit my dresser and hurt my hand. I tried again! This time 

I didn't hit anything but I fell back on my bed because I got extremely dizzy. That's how it's like to be an unfit dancer. It seems like I have lost my skills all these years because I've been studying too much. There's never enough time to do everything. And it's a sad truth that most of the time we have to give up one thing for the other.

...I picked up my guitar today and played for a while. My fingers started hurting so I decided to play the piano. Guitar is easier to play than piano. But I think I love playing the piano more even though I'm currently bad at it because it doesn't hurt at all. I'm forcing myself to play for a full hour so I can buy a pair of earrings as a reward. I still haven't reached the apex of the learning curve. Playing for a full hour is hard when you can't read the notes well. But maybe after months of practice, it will be a lot easier and I will then never have to count the hours as I might find myself completely immersed playing piano all day.

Cactus garden

My girl friends had been extremely busy preparing for their talks so I had been "friendless" during the past few weekends. Instead of mourning in my lifeless flat, I decided to hop on solo adventures to random places around Brisbane. One of the many places I went to that I fell in love with was the cactus garden at Mt. Cootha. I actually went to Mt. Cootha supposedly to watch an orchid show. After the show I decided to take a tour of the different gardens. I walked past the cactus garden and felt euphoric. I really love cactus! I think I actually loved the dry cactus garden more than colourful and ostentatious orchid show!

Cinnamon scroll "mutant"

I went to a market which I have never been to one beautiful Sunday morning. I was craving to eat something sweet. But as you know, I don't really like "sweet sweets," so it was a challenge to find a commercial product that fitted the description. I toured the entire market and found cinnamon scrolls which came in so many different ridiculously sweet-looking toppings! I love plain cinnamon scrolls. However, I also wanted to try the toppings just because I was curious. So then I asked the lady if she could bake me one with guava toppings on one side and nothing on the other! I was very happy to get my customized cinnamon scroll! 

August updates

I could not recall the last time I visited my blog. But it turned out I actually briefly dropped by last month. I had been planning to write, but I had been really preoccupied I could not find the best time where I still had enough energy to actually slouch in my chair and begin this long conversation with myself. I have been really busy. I had to be otherwise, I would probably sink in depression after the loss of my grandma. I must say I am coping really well. I used to get really upset every time it rains and I end up getting stuck at home with nothing else to do but think about my grandma. Although I still sometimes feel sad when I think about her, the main difference now is the fact that I have finally accepted she is gone. She was my favorite person in the world! She left me with this gigantic hole in my heart which is finally healing. 

So what have I been up to? A lot actually! If you will recall, during the early part of the year I jotted down what I wanted to do this year. I did most of them! 

1. Swimming. I enrolled in swimming lessons, and after the first session I realized that I can actually swim! I just have this deep water phobia. I can swim perfectly well in the pool where my feet can touch the ground. But the moment I imagine the pool is deep, I sink! I nearly drowned when I was young; and I still have not overcome this childhood trauma. I just have to remember that it swimming in shallow water and deep water does not make a difference. If I can swim, I can swim!

2. Playing musical instruments. I dragged my electric piano all the way from Philippines. I must say dragging it all the way down here is definitely worth it! I really love music and it would be a shame if I could not play. 

3. Travelling. I'm off to attend a conference in Vietnam next month. After that, I intend to take a short trip to Cambodia! I'm very excited! I really love travelling. If reincarnation was true (but I don't believe in it), I was probably a migratory bird that got shot by hunters because I strayed from the flock!

The only thing I have not done yet was do more driving practice so I can get a P license. I will probably work more on this goal when I get back from my trip. I have already emailed a nursing home twice to see if  I could volunteer. Unfortunately, they have not gotten back to me. I chose one which is closest to where I live. If I learn how to drive and save up for a car, I can opt to do volunteering in a nursing home which does not necessarily need to be close to where I live. My grandma used to tell me I'm the only one in the family who can make me smile all the time. Maybe I might just have that special ability to make old people smile.

How have I been?

I have not written anything for what seemed like forever. But forever ceases to exist! And that's the bitter truth which I have been trying to swallow for the past months. My grandma passed away two months ago; and I kept crying until my tears ran dry. I must say I have never felt such excruciating pain in my life before. And that if anything ever came my way, I would simply look back, think about my grandma and say, "It doesn't hurt." But it could have hurt had I not been aching from my grandma's passing. Everything is relative so it seems. I love my grandma. If there is one person in the planet whom I truly love, it's definitely her. When she left me forever, my heart started to collapse. And in the middle is a very big hole! So big, I can almost fit the universe! I'm healing somehow but I may need time. Hopefully soon enough my heart will be whole again. But for now, I am contented living with a huge hole in my heart.

I'm filling up the void by busying myself with my thesis. After a year, I am finally getting into it. And it's about time! What took me so long, I really don't know. I've also just recently emailed a nursing home so I could do some volunteer works. I really love seeing old people smile for some reasons. Maybe if I manage to make them smile every weekend, the big hole in my heart will heal up faster.

I've also had quite a number of travels planned. I'm pretty excited! I'm away from my flat most of the time. It's hard to stay inside curled up in my bed. I can't even remember the last time I had siesta! I just love being out, enjoying the sun and the soft breeze. 

Tomorrow I will be gone again! I'm heading to Melbourne with my colleagues to discuss our project. I'm so excited to learn new things from all the smart people whom I will be meeting. But the biggest challenge now is how to catch my flight. The plane leaves early; and on normal days, I wake up late. 

Free "taste" of the Latin dance craze

While I may have a pile of work-related backlogs to catch up this coming week, I am  very ecstatic to say that my weekend needs none of that! Saturday morning I forced myself to work and physically go to the lab while my brain was lackadaisically walking on a sunny street! After a while I realized working was pointless! I thought maybe I should have fun instead because it's the weekend after all! I tossed my pen, packed my bag and went home to get changed into my dancing outfit! I attended a free salsa class! It was my very first time to dance salsa but it felt so natural for me! After the class, I spent the entire evening dancing salsa, (a bit of zouk) and bachata! I had an amazing night getting reunited with one of my many interests: DANCING! Looks like my girl friends and I will be spending a lot of time in different Latin dance clubs in the coming months. 

The morning person conversion

I have been robbed off sleep the past two days probably because I have been trying so hard to become a morning person. I'm really having troubles getting up early in the morning that sometimes I'm tempted to literally throw myself out of bed so that my whole body gets slammed on the wooden floor so I can immediately wake up. But because I love myself so much I would not want to get bruised for such a lame reason, I always end up rolling back and forth in bed, enjoying the warm embrace of my feather-soft quilt. Then I watch the clock's hand move from one number to another until the long hand finally makes a full turn! I struggle. I move a bit. The long hand slams itself to the next number again and again and again. Then I imagine drinking my coffee and doing yoga. Finally, I sit at the corner of my bed. But many times I find myself hitting the sack again and fall back to my dreamland. 

 

It has been like this since I decided to try to become a morning person. I will try again for the last time tomorrow! But this time I ate a hearty dinner. Hopefully the insulin in my bloodstream would spike up and rob my brain off the oxygen so I'd feel a bit sluggish and this nocturnal body of mine will fall into a deep sleep. 

Banoffee pie

Chocolate curls

I love baking and making desserts. Unfortunately, I don't like eating a lot. And I find tasting way more pleasurable than eating. Hence, the big problem arises when I'm done making desserts and I just want to taste a little piece but do not really wish to eat the entire lot. What happens to the rest?

A sinful slice!

Luckily, at my work place, we hold "cake club" every second Friday. Someone gets assigned to bring something sweet on that day. Because we are a big group, my turn to bake only comes every 3 to 4 months or so. But my desire to create an experimental dessert "burns" more frequently than that. So every now and then, I try to find an excuse to bring my experiment into the table. The latest one was two weeks ago when one of my colleagues in the lab had to say goodbye as she had to go back to her country. 

The pie without the chocolate curls

Several days before that I asked her what she wanted for her goodbye tea party. And she said, "I really love banoffee pie!" I got so stressed when she said that because I had zero interest in making banoffee pie. I happened to try the banoffee pie in the cafe near our building and it was disgustingly sweet, I remember struggling to finish that tiny piece of insane sugar monster! I thought there was no way I could ever bring myself to make a dessert I hate. But because I really liked my friend, I spent three nights conditioning myself that I had to make one "crazy" banoffee pie. I took a random recipe online and as usual, made a number of modifications such as adding coffee to the caramel and putting a very thin layer of it at the base. I also opted to sprinkle my pie with shaved dark chocolate and put a bit of chocolate curls in the middle. I had problems tempering my chocolate to make the curls. But I surprisingly pulled it off in the end. The dessert looks complicated, but it's actually very easy to make. 

I was so ecstatic to see everyone's face light up when I saw them eating my pie. They really loved it especially my friend! I was so happy to see her smile. In making desserts, I follow two rules: Less Sugar and More Love.

Stradbroke, Queensland

Point lookout.

My friends and I went to Stradbroke Island last week and it was nothing short of amazing! I would probably do it every weekend if I had the time, money and energy. The sun was excruciatingly unforgiving though; but l brought a liter of sunscreen for everyone to use and that definitely saved our skin cells from mutating!

Wild current at Point lookout.

Our first stop was at Point Lookout. We walked through a short trekking path which gave us the chance to see the meandering river. Many parts looked breathtakingly dramatic with the violent current bashing the frothy river water onto the rocks. Some areas were serene as the water was still and quiet.

Yoga at cylinder beach,

After a quick lunch, we then headed to the Cylinder beach! The current was stronger than usual. But we still jumped through. I stayed in the shallow portion because I'm a ridiculously awful swimmer. In fact, I can't swim well. But I really enjoyed throwing myself into the waves and getting swallowed for a while. But what I did was not dangerous at all because I made sure the water level was not beyond 2/3 of my height. (Which means, it was pretty shallow). We bathed in the sun for the rest of the afternoon. My yellow skin just turned golden brown and I was extremely amazed! Now I know why brown is more beautiful in Australia. When you are brown, it usually means you had more fun in the sun. I don't ever want to be a white Asian again. Golden brown is definitely better.

Pretentious shampoo commercial at the Brown lake.

The next day, my friend and I woke up early to do yoga. I have always wanted to do yoga on the beach; and I just made my dream come true. I woke up my friend really early just to do yoga with me that day. It was ridiculously early and I had to make her coffee. 

We also went to the Brown lake. The lake is surrounded by tea trees! The tea tree oil gets infused into the water; and it had a therapeutic effect. The lake was brown too (but very clean)! Swimming at the brown lake made me feel like I'm an ant in a huge tea cup. 

It was a fantastic weekend. Unfortunately, I left my brain on the island and the entire week I was struggling so much to fish my brain back. 

Forming habits: my new books and old yoga routine

I love books!

And I love yoga! The modified wheel pose.

Forming a habit is easier than I thought! I say so because I have been doing yoga almost every weekdays before I head to the lab. If I don't do it, I always notice a sudden drop in my energy level! Yoga is nearly tantamount to drinking coffee (with milk) in the morning! I'm now on my 6th week of yoga training, and I intend to go on for as long as I can. I really enjoy yoga as it literally calms my nerves. I always do yoga first thing in the morning. It seemingly draws the sunshine to my occasionally bleak student life. 

My morning habits are pretty much stable. However, I intend to make some changes in my evening routine as I have noticed I'm becoming a little bit "unhinged". Unhinged in the sense that I actually "find myself staring at the wall." 

To replace this dreadful habit of staring at the wall, I have amassed yet another batch of books. I have been reading The Taste of War the past few days and I quite like it. However, as it is a world war two book, I find that it is somewhat heavy for a bedtime story. Hence, I need to pick up another book to read along side The Taste of War. I hope to read an hour everyday before I retire to bed. I just need to have the discipline to stick to such habit in the same manner as my morning yoga. 

Tomorrow is the beginning of another work week. I never picked up on work this weekend by the way. I was so busy drooling over my books and celebrating Chinese New Year with my friends! Cheers to the new year and my new habits!  新年快乐!

Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary

 I was cleaning my desk awhile ago when I saw three printed postcards of me holding a koala! I wondered who to give them to; and suddenly I had this awesome idea of sending them to my siblings since the three of them live in three different places! I don't think they will be so pleased to receive a postcard which supports my ever inflating vanity though! But the mere thought that my siblings will be somewhat irked to see my face on a postcard makes me smile from ear to ear. 

The postcard photo was taken when my friends and I went to Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary in Brisbane. It's one of the best places to visit if you ever want to see koalas in flesh and blood. In fact, I have never seen koalas in the wild despite the road signs which tell people to beware of koalas crossing! In some areas they even built a tiny hanging bridge solely for koalas to cross. But watching them cross must be a fairy tale!

I paid 20 dollars for my photo to be taken and I must say it was all worth it because hugging the koala made me feel fuzzy and warm in the inside. 20 dollars is pricey for a photo; but the profits will go to building a better sanctuary for these poor sleepy creatures, so it's definitely a win! 

Other animals were also in the sanctuary. There is this area where people can enter and interact with kangaroos! I got the chance to feed them on my hands! Although I must say it was very ticklish! I would have enjoyed the feeding experience a lot better if I didn't get tickled. I wanted to hug the kangaroos but they apparently did not like me. I would love to think it was because of my hat and not because I looked scary. 

I remember I really enjoyed my time at the sanctuary. I am longing to visit more places like this in Brisbane. I'm just waiting for my friends to invite me to go with them. I'm definitely in! 

Lucky 7!

I went mad shopping for books today! I told myself I will only buy one book, but I ended up walking out with one bag! I spent more than an hour choosing which books to buy and luckily 6 books caught my heart. They are mostly history books which are written in a different fashion. I never learned history when I was growing up due to two reasons: (1) I hated simple narration of facts and (2) my teachers never told the story in an interesting way. Because of these, I appear oblivious to the world. But I am aim to cope with this ignorance by looking at history in a difference lens! I was specifically very euphoric to find a book written by Tom Standage. I had a chat with the bookstore personnel and was very happy she also likes him. She told me there is another book he authored which is due to arrive next week and that she would give me a ring when it's available. So in reality, I have/will have 7 new books. Lucky 7! I can't tell you how happy I am to see these books on my table. I badly needed to buy these because I realized some nights I find myself staring at the wall before I retire to bed. I mean, only crazy people stares blankly at the wall, right? Then it occurred to me that the reason why I was staring at the wall was because I had no book to read. These 7 books should be enough to keep me sane in the coming months. 

Cakes for Australia Day

Mango passionfruit cheesecake from The Cheesecake Shop.

Happy Australia Day!

I dashed to the nearest cake shop a couple of minutes ago, hoping to buy a piece of cake which could hopefully inspire me to continue writing my report. As the clouds were grey and could apparently rain any minute, I had the excuse to walk with my UV proof umbrella. And that simple fact got me smiling while walking as no one in Australia normally walks with an umbrella when it's not raining!

I baked this some months ago for a friend.

Upon reaching the cake shop, I headed to the corner where quarter slices of cakes were displayed. I was looking for my favorite passion fruit cheesecake; but it was unfortunately unavailable so I had to make do with a chocolate cake topped with fresh strawberries (a cake which I normally bake for a friend's birthday when I don't have much time). When the cake attendant came, I asked him if they happen to have a passion fruit cheese cake which was not on display. Unfortunately, there wasn't so he suggested I take the mango passionfruit one which he reckons is also delicious. I was surprised he gave me a generous discount and I didn't even ask for it! It must be the Australia Day spirit. I walked off jubilant and paid the nice cake attendant with a beautiful smile.

Transylvanian food and fire dancing

Yesterday morning I woke up with a bad headache which I presumed was more of sinus-related than anything else. The night before that I went out with my friends from the lab and did some sort of "club hopping."  We went to Prohibition and Cloudland. It was honestly my first time to go to the clubs in Brisbane and I must say I would definitely rather go to pubs due to several reasons which I refuse to elaborate. But one main reason is that I'd rather enjoy an intimate conversation with my closest friends while sipping a pint of refreshingly bitter beer than go dancing in the club with skimpy clothes to a music I do not like. Or maybe the music in those two clubs were just not good? However, I must say the bathrooms were very impressive and I quite like the furniture. 

Dejected over the events on the Friday night (not to mention I was too sober because I don't think they even put alcohol in our cocktails), I was determined to have a more worthwhile Saturday night! True enough I really had a blast last night. First, my girl friends and I went to the Night Food Market at Boundary St., West End. I tried the Transylvanian cheese pie with the cabbage roll. I found the cheese pie surprisingly delicious. The cabbage roll was also very tasty (although I would prefer it a bit sour). Afterwards, we headed to a park where the "hippies" gathered around to celebrate the full moon through fire dances. I really enjoyed watching the performers toss and turn their fire paraphernalia. I would love to imagine doing fire dancing myself; but because I'm very clumsy, I don't think I will ever learn to do fire dancing without burning myself entirely. We sat for an hour gazing at the fire dancers! I was mesmerized and I really enjoyed it! I will likely come back some time in the next full moon and be another hippie-wanna-be who adores playing with fire. 

Before the sky started crying, my friend and I went to a pub which I completely forgot where because I'm very good with directions! It was a very quaint pub with no more than twenty seats. I would really love to go back there as they were serving the kinds of beer you hardly see in other pubs. They just sell those from small breweries. I'm still in search for my favorite beer. And so far, my two candidates are Sea Bass from this pub I'm talking about and Young Henry's which I got at the Lefty's pub near Petrie Terrace, Brisbane. After having a nice conversation with my friend, we ended the night with a truly satisfied stomach and liver! After she left me at the bus stop, however, one stranger was trying to pick me up. I was more irritated than scared actually. Luckily I was not drunk and I knew I could still run if I had to. The bus came on time to save me! In the end, it was a beautiful night.  I also had the chance to once again enjoy the full moon when I was crossing my favorite bridge in Brisbane!

Saturdate with friends

I have been living in foreign countries for more than four years now, and I must say it's one of the best experiences in life. The initial move was daunting as I knew I was traversing unfamiliar grounds where I would encounter people from different cultures with different languages. But being surrounded with people who are different from me is a very pleasurable learning experience because these people compel me see the world through a different vantage point. I really enjoy meeting new friends and actually forming a tight bond within our close circle. But I like to keep my circle of friends somewhat small because a big one is definitely doomed to collapse. Luckily, I have already met a number of friends whom I think will stick with me through thick or thin. When living in a foreign country, the best way to survive is to have really good friends whom you can laugh, cry and eat with!

I really enjoy trying all sorts of dishes. When I was living in Belgium, I would normally spend almost every Fridays nights having dinner with friends. Food makes jokes a lot funnier for some reasons. 

Moving here, I spend my Friday almost in the same manner. And maybe even better because I go out a lot on the weekends too! 

Yesterday, I went to my friends' place and spent more than an hour playing in the pool all by myself. I was having fun a lot until I realized I was the only person in the pool and the people who saw me smiling on my own probably thought I was crazy. After realizing how weird it was I was smiling on my own, I tried to keep the smiles to myself so they would not think I was losing it.  

It was getting dark so I went inside my friends' flat where we spent the rest of the night chatting and laughing. They cooked a lot! And they were all very delicious. They cooked Chinese food (because they are Chinese). Even though China and my country of origin  are not in very good terms, I cannot bring myself to fully hate China because I have Chinese blood myself. Doing so would be tantamount to hating my own ancestors.  Anyway, I really love my friends--whatever are their nationalities!

I really enjoyed my Saturday. Meanwhile, I gotta run again as I need to meet my girls in the city today. Life is good when you have awesome friends.

Holidays

I got back to my flat yesterday and since then I have been tidying up my nook, cooking, daydreaming and planning for the weeks ahead.  I really love holidays! But I can honestly only enjoy 4-5 weeks of holidays. The first and second weeks are vibrant and colorful. The lack-of-purpose-in-life feeling begins to kick in come the end of the third week. On the fourth week, boredom crawls through every inch of my skin. On the fifth week, I start thinking about ways to kill boredom. On the sixth week until who knows when, I start running aimlessly on a limbo and start imagining what life would be like if I lived in hell instead. Taking long holidays isn't as gratifying as short ones because money does not grow on trees. But maybe if I could grow a money tree in my backyard, it would have been a different story. I would definitely wander around the world through land, sea and sky!